| Mark: |
Hi there bro', did you have a good Christmas? |
| Jon: |
Yeah, not bad, oh and thanks for the presents, they were really good. |
| Mark: |
No problem, glad you enjoyed them. |
| Jon: |
Sorry I didn't sort mine out on time, anyway, I've got them here. |
| Mark: |
Great stuff, shall I open them now? |
| Jon: |
Well, I guess you might as well. [Digs into back and pulls out present
number 1: lump of coal and hands to Mark]. |
| Mark: |
Umm, feels a bit odd, I wonder what it can be. |
| Jon: |
Well, it was on your Christmas list. |
| Mark: |
[Mark opens it] A lump of coal! A lump of coal! I didn't ask for a lump
of coal. |
| Jon: |
Well, you said you wanted something to keep you warm. |
| Mark: |
Doh! I meant a scarf, or woolly hat, not a lump of coal, I don't even have
a fire place! Oh dear, well what else have you got me? |
| Jon: |
Try this one then [gets out number 2: stones]. |
| Mark: |
Was this on my list? |
| Jon: |
Yeah - I only got things on your list. |
| Mark: |
Okay, well, umm, this is a bit heavy, and feels good too. Let's see - Large
stones! I didn't ask for st... I meant Rolling Stones! |
| Jon: |
Well, they're quite round, they'll roll a bit. |
| Mark: |
No! Rolling Stones, an album, a CD. This is a wind up isn't it! |
| Jon: |
No it's not! |
| Mark: |
Well it certainly seems like it. |
| Jon: |
Look I'm sorry, here try this one [number 3: yogurts]. |
| Mark: |
Okay, this had better be good. Was this on my list? |
| Jon: |
Yeah, everything was. |
| Mark: |
Okay then, well it's an odd shape, perhaps there are too of them, not very
heavy. Let's see. 2 yogurts! I did not ask for two yogurts! |
| Jon: |
You said you wanted a pair of Skis! |
| Mark: |
Skis for skiing! Down hill, on snow! You are having a laugh aren't you! |
| Jon: |
I'm not, I just read the list and ... |
| Mark: |
Skis... I ask you ... I can hardly go to Cloisters in February with two
yogurt pots strapped to my feet can I! |
| Jon: |
Well, look I'm sorry, try this one [present number 4: nut cracker and sweets]. |
| Mark: |
I'm disappointed I really am [takes present]. Okay, this is a very odd
shape, a bit lumpy. A nut cracker ... and sweet! You are a having a laugh
aren't you! Have you never heard of Tchaikovsky! |
| Jon: |
Is he that new striker at Arsenal? |
| Mark: |
No he is not. He is a Russian composer. |
| Jon: |
Russian [rushing]. What's the hurry? |
| Mark: |
I mean, what if I had asked for something like, I don't know, Turkish Delight
... could have got arrested, or maybe, A Goblet of Fire! We could have
had a distaster on our hands. |
| Jon: |
Oh, that's a really good book that is. |
| Mark: |
[Looks askance at Jon]. |
| Jon: |
Sorry. |
| Mark: |
Well, is that it then? |
| Jon: |
No there's just one more [present 5: Card about send a cow]. |
| Mark: |
What's this, looks like an envelope, let's see, it's addressed to me [quotes]
"Dear Mark, thank you so much for buying a cow". Look, I definitely
did not ask for a cow, did I? |
| Jon: |
You asked for a Jersey! |
|
Doh. Okay, I give up. What's all this about then. "Dear Mark, thank
you so much for buying a cow.. It really will make a tremendous difference
to the lives of one family in Africa this Christmas". Well I guess
this is a really great present after all. |
| Jon: |
Great, I'm glad you like it.
|
| Mark: |
Anyway, I've got to go, happy new year to you. |
| Jon: |
Yeah, see you soon. Bye. |
|
[END]. |
